The Amityville Bore

Almost everyone knows The Amityville Horror. Whether from the countless spoofs done by the likes of The Simpsons or the highly successful 1979 film, that it almost feels ad nauseum to discuss the plot of this work that has become such a pop culture behemoth. What I will discuss instead is how mind-numbingly boring the source novel is. Like most people I watched the 1979 film and aside from the eye candy of James Brolin and Margot Kidder the movie itself is a decent little late 70's horror treat. It's not especially scary by today's standards but it has a few solid set pieces and is genuinely creepy in parts. That creepiness is enhanced by the fact that this is a likable family, you feel bad they are experiencing this when all they want is their part of the American dream. Then there's the book. Written by Jay Anson it's his first of only two novels he wrote in his lifetime and you can tell. The writing itself is simplistic, almost written for young adults and the biggest sin is its over reliance on exclamation points. Any good writer setting up a scene of tension would allow the high of that tension to speak for itself. You as a reader being led to that high point, the break of the tension that the writing led you to, will deliver the shock the writer intended. Anson either solidly fails at this or if he would have succeeded blows the wind out of his sails by adding an exclamation point to tell you to be scared. Which has the opposite effect every time. In fact if you turned the appearance of exclamation points in the novel into a drinking game you would probably die because on top of their overuse in scenes of tension or scares they are just overused in general throughout the novel.

Pocket Books 1991 edition, labeled non fiction

Then there's the family itself. As written in the novel the Lutz family is not likable. You're barely given any details prior to them getting married except that it's the second marriage for both the parents and George Lutz is very self involved. When he does think about the kids he rarely thinks of them as his even though by marriage he's become their stepfather. There's also a distasteful scene of the parents beating the kids early in the novel that they blame on the tensions they are feeling about the house. The kids are barely characters which would be fine if George or Kathy Lutz were compelling as people. Add in paranormal phenomena that range from incredulous (the house is supposedly constantly cold but they mention negative temperatures outside) to laughable (evil pig?) and  The Amityville Horror just really fails as a novel. If you find this at a discount it's okay as a time killer but if you want scares you've come to the wrong house. Well those are my thoughts on Amityville Horror as always the comments are open and it being November, look forward to me starting Epic Month in the next day or two.